E-Christmas

I was never alive for Christmas. Well, Christmas the way it should have been. Maybe Christmas the way it was. Perhaps the way we all wish it were. Here’s what I’m trying to say:

  • Christmas should resemble more Norman Rockwell and less “Christmas with the Cranks”.
  • Christmas should be more about caroling in a front yard than obnoxious inflatible blow-up dolls.
  • Christmas should be warm, spirited, full of family, fun, and winter frollick.
  • Christmas should not be about whether I got everything I wanted and, if not, how affordable plasma and HDTV’s are so I might get one for myself.

Radio. TV. Spam. Pop-ups. Marketing, glitz, message, reminders – the intrusion of Christmas comes only once a year; haven’t we neglected spending on our selves the entire year? Why shouldn’t we indulge since those ungratful spouses and family won’t get us what we really want, what we really need.

Meier and Frank with their talking feminine packages wish to remind me that “it’s all inside”. Coke’s polar bears. Corona’s Christmas palm tree. The endless drone of Walmart’s Gingie-rip-off cookie between “Rudolph the Red Nose Reindeer.” Christmas movies at a 16-screen cinamaplex, shopping malls, in store credit, 12oz egg nog lates as Starbucks for $2.95, inappropriate “wanding” in airport security, self-checkout at the department store, the kid handing me printed product comparisons for game consoles, online shopping and estimating how long it will take UPS to air-drop a package to Idaho, and cut-out cardboard people to ring an electronic bell and take your money (http://www.macon.com/mld/telegraph/10342006.htm).

That’s not Christmas. None of it. It’s not Norman. This is Christmas-electronic. This is Christmas-excelerated. This is Christmas by email. This is E-Christmas: capitalism on steroids.

I long for the beta of Christmas. Christmas before the enhancements. I’d like to uninstall the E-Christmas upgrade and go back to what really mattered during the season; to daydream in a moment captured in an imagined time, in an imagined place, in a Christmas that should be but may never have been.

Russell Mickler, CISSP MCSE

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